It’s official, I have on the most comfortable and ugliest combination of clothing that is possible. #Icepocalypse #fuzzysocks

It’s a funny thing being trapped in your own house for 6 days.  You see, right before this ice storm we’ve had in Nashville, I had a bad cold.  When you’re sick with a baby you pretty much don’t leave the house if possible, so it has been 6 straight days of being home.  Don’t judge me.  Obviously, if you have older kids, you can get out and sled and play in the ice/snow combo, but with a baby you really can’t do that.  My days have been spent trying to catch up on sleep, laundry, and getting a few work related things done all in between taking care of Maverick, in the comfort of my own home, in my pjs, of course.  It really doesn’t sound too bad, but once day 3 hits, you just need something, a change, some make up, a trip to Target, a break from the monotony.  However, that hasn’t really been possible in this predicament we are in.

Needless to say, I’ve spent a lot of time staring at the TV and my phone.  But on day 3 things just began to feel empty.  Filling my time with little tasks, looking at everyone’s snow pictures, and catching up on my shows just started to get a little old.  I was feeding Maverick that night, and I ran across the picture f the Christian men who were beheaded by ISIS.  I looked at their faces.  And I thought, what am I doing?  Here I am just trying to distract myself from life with TV and social media.  And men are being murdered for their faith.  It’s not a movie or a show, it’s like real life.  I just started to feel this emptiness creep in.  That’s what happens when I don’t feel myself with Him.  It’s so easy to distract and entertain myself even while stuck at home for so long.  When social media and TV get old I can turn to online shopping, vacationing planning, or even recipe creating.  Not that any of those things are bad, but I was leaving Him out.

I’m finishing up Annie Downs book “Let’s all be Brave,” and I just read about the rhythm of discipline.  I usually read my “SheReadsTruth” study in the mornings, but lately I’ve let the other apps on my phone take precedence, I had gotten out of my rhythm.  It’s a small thing, but just filling my mind with a little truth everyday, taking the time to pray and just be with God fills me up.

All of the things, the houses, the money, the cars, the status, the looks, the clothes.  They are empty.  They are never enough.  The more I get the more I want.  When we moved to our home now, I thought we really had something.  You know, a really nice house to be proud of.  Sure, I’m still proud of it, but it’s sort of lost it’s luster, you know?  Like I find myself looking at the bathroom thinking it’s really outdated.  The floors we put in the living room are already so scratched up.  We need a bigger rug.  And so on.  Just 2 years ago, I was so proud of it.  Now it just doesn’t quite cut it?  Things.  They lose their sparkle quickly.  They never satisfy.  I’m not saying they are bad or that I won’t redo our bathroom, but it won’t fulfill me.  In a year or two the styles will change and it won’t seem so fresh and new anymore.  He makes things new.  He satisfies, oh how easily I forget.

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Well I’m back at it!  I made my first Youtube video in 4 months, yikes, it’s been so long!  This was just a quick informal video to kickstart my regular videos again, which I will be posting every Wednesday beginning next week.  So be sure to look for those on Wednesdays, and Subscribe so you will get the videos in your inbox every time I upload a new one.

Go ahead and watch this one to see me in mom mode, made this one during the little man’s nap!    I have shared a healthy snacking idea for new/busy moms and dads.  And the star ingredient is…EGGS!

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Doing some final edits to my cookbook one morning last week, working looks a little different now!

I have mixed emotions every year during the first few days of January.  It’s not that I want Christmas to last forever, but I love the excitement, the anticipation, and the joy that December brings.  I have always gotten a little sad when something I look forward to is over.  On the way home from vacations, for example, I always get this sense of disappointment, it’s just over, that was it, back to the real world now.  That’s probably why my husband says I am always trying to plan our next trip as soon as we get back from one.  I just want something else to look forward to.

So when the holidays are over and January begins, I guess I just want something new to look forward to.  So I turn to the new year, as most of us do, and I decide what I want it to look like.  I can usually find some things to get pretty excited about, and the anticipation of all that I am going to do that year brings an eagerness to move forward again.

But this year it’s different.  You see, it’s always just been me.  I was in control (for the most part) of accomplishing my goals or not.  As long as I could get myself motivated, then that was all there was to it.  But it’s January 2nd, and I didn’t get a full night of sleep last night.  In fact I haven’t had a full night of sleep since September 20.  I have a 3 month old, and as I have been telling Zach, it’s his (Maverick’s) world, we are just living in it.

So I sit here, with the anticipation of a new year with my baby boy, but with the heaviness of knowing that it’s going to be hard.  We will have many firsts this year, some good and some not so good, I’m sure.  As exciting as it will be to watch my son during his year first full year of life, I can’t help but wonder how I will do it all.  How do I accomplish my own goals without a good night’s rest?   How can I get all of the things done that I so badly want to do when his needs always come first?  How do I do it all if I am just really tired?  Heck, how do I accomplish much of anything other than just taking care of this baby?  That is never something I have had to think about before when planning for a new year.  I don’t have the answers to these questions.  I do know that when I look back at the past 3 months I feel like I have accomplished more than I ever thought I could.  So many times in the middle of the night, I have found myself singing the song “I need you, oh I need you, every hour I need you.”  Oh how true it is.

The Lord has been my strength when I wasn’t sure how I could do it.  You see, no one really teaches you how to be a mom.  You can have good examples, but it’s really just something you have to experience to learn.  I certainly didn’t think it would be easy or come naturally.  I was never really the babysitting type, babies in general have never really been my thing.  But God does something to your heart when you have a child.  There is no way to explain it.  All the hard things, all the lack of sleep, all of the after effects of childbirth, you just bare them.  If I would have known six months ago all that I would go through as a mom just in the first 3 months, I would have wondered how in the world I would do it.  I would have probably thought that there was no way that I could get through it.   But I did.

So I guess that is my answer for now for this new year.  I don’t have to do it all or do it perfectly, but with the Lord as my strength I can do the things He is calling me to.  I can keep going even though it will be hard.  I may not “do it all,” but I will take baby steps (no pun intended) in the direction of the things that God is nudging me towards, because I am a mom now.  And moms can do really hard things.  We can actually do lots of hard things at once, with very little sleep.  I am learning this about moms.  I admire them more than ever,  I actually feel pretty honored to be part of this mom club.

And so it begins, 2015.  And it’s not just me this time, and I think in some way I’ll be better because of that this year.  And when I think I can’t do it, I will look back on what I have done so far, and I will be reminded how I need Him and that, oh yes, I certainly can do it.

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Well as of Saturday, I am 7 weeks postpartum, which means I have an almost 2 month old, which is totally crazy!  This precious/exhausting time has flown by, but at the same time, life before baby Maverick seems like a lifetime ago.  Since the last video I posted was all about my pregnancy and some of the fears I had going into it, (check that out video here) I decided to give a little postpartum update addressing each of those “fears” now that I am on the other side.

Labor and Delivery:

Well, the day that I was 37 weeks pregnant (full term) Maverick decided to make his entrance into the world.  I actually thought I had another couple of weeks, because I had not progressed at my 36 week appointment, but obviously he had other plans.  I talked in the video about wanting to go all natural during my labor, and I am proud to say that we did it!  Was it painful…umm YES!  However, with lots of prayer, support form Zach, an exercise ball, and some relaxation techniques I progressed to 10 cm in about 10 hours without an epidural or Pitocin.  Then, after an hour of pushing, which was definitely the hardest part for me (OUCH!), our little boy made his debut.

Was it worth it?  Well, I don’t have much to compare it to, but I know I would not change a thing about the way we did it.  It was really cool to experience the whole process fully and know exactly what God created my body to be able to do.   Since Maverick did come 3 weeks before my due date he was pretty small, 5 lbs 4 oz.  However, our strong little man was healthy and passed all of the tests for us to be able to go home on schedule.  Our time in the hospital was full of bliss, emotion, and amazement that this little guy was really ours.

Body Changes since Pregnancy:

As far as how my body has changed, I was actually pleasantly surprised at how quickly my body began to bounce back after delivery.  Of course, nursing has helped a lot, but I instantly noticed the swelling in my face and legs begin to go down.  As I shared in the video, I did workout throughout my pregnancy, even up until the day I went into labor, and I definitely think that has helped things get back to normal more quickly than I expected.  Of course, my stomach and a few other parts look a little different than before, but honestly after everything my body went through and the reward of my boy, these little changes in my body seem pretty insignificant at this point.  I mean, it’s not like I am planning on entering any bikini contests anytime soon, ha!  However, working out is something I enjoy and it makes me feel good, so I have been slowly getting back into a workout routine for the past 3-4 weeks.  Things are tightening up little by little, and I know it will come with time.

All that being said, finding the time to workout with a newborn is a challenge, so I have to keep the workouts short and effective.  I have been using this video workout series called Postnatal Slimdown by Lindsay Brin.  It has lots of 10 minute cardio, strength, and ab workouts that you can mix and match depending on how much time you have.

How has my life changed:

Well, it’s safe to say my life has changed pretty dramatically, who would’ve guessed that?  I have had to accept that this is a season that I have to slow down and soak in, which is easier said than done sometimes.  I will admit there have been a few times that I have felt pretty stir crazy, wanting to get back to making videos/TV segments/cookbook work, but I have to remind myself that my son will only be a newborn once.   I’m easing back into creating recipes/writing articles, and I’ll be finishing up some cookbook photo shoots next week.  With Zach’s support and some very helpful grandparents, I plan to keep doing the things that I love.  Maverick requires so much of me, that I willingly give him, but I don’t want to lose myself in the process.  I think I will be a better mom if I keep pursuing the things that make my heart happy.

One thing I did for myself last week was go to the Q Women’s conference here in Franklin.  It was a challenge to be gone all day, but it was so worth it!  It really got my heart stirring about what my calling truly is and how to pursue that even during this season.

Wrap Up:

I could go on for days about this new life I am living, but I will end this by saying that motherhood is definitely tough, I’m really tired (especially since we have all been sick the past 5 days) and well, my life no longer revolves around me anymore!  However, this is the best, most amazing thing I have ever done.  The love I feel for this little guy is so precious and amazing, and there is no way I could have understood it before having him.  God has surely blessed us, and I feel so honored to be Maverick’s mom.

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In honor of my Youtube Channel reaching over 500,000 views, I decided to begin a new series of videos outside of the kitchen, just me…in real life!  I would love to get to know my Youtube viewers better, so hopefully these videos will help you get to know me as well.  I’m no pregnancy or baby expert, obviously, this is my first!  However, I have learned so much since I first found out there was a bun in the oven, and I am hoping that sharing some these fears will be encouraging to others who are considering taking the plunge into mommyhood.

Let me know your thoughts!  What were your fears?  How did you overcome them?  What has been helpful for keeping you calm/at peace throughout your pregnancy?

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